What If I Don’t Know Anyone? Coming to a Women’s Retreat Alone
One of the questions women sometimes ask before registering for a retreat is:
“What if I don’t know anyone?”
Sometimes they’re excited about the retreat itself.
They want the breathwork.
They want the nervous system work.
They want the connection.
They know they need the time for themselves.
But walking through the door alone?
That can feel like a very different thing.
“I didn’t know anyone when I went.”
Paula came to Radiant & Restored, my two-day women’s retreat in Olympia, without knowing anyone.
Afterward, she left a comment on one of my Facebook posts that I haven't stopped thinking about:
“OMG — best thing I’ve done for myself in a VERY long time. Worth the time and money!!! Still feeling empowered.”
And then she spoke directly to that fear of coming alone:
“I didn’t know anyone when I went — felt very welcome. It was okay to be nervous and not know anyone. That lasted maybe long enough to walk in and sign in.”
I love that she didn't say she wasn't nervous.
She was.
And she came anyway.
You don't have to wait until you're completely comfortable to do something for yourself.
Sometimes you simply walk through the door nervous.
What if I have different needs than everyone else?
There was another part of Paula's comment that meant a lot to me.
Loud environments can sometimes be difficult for her, so she came prepared with headphones in case she needed them.
She explained that in other group settings, she has sometimes felt like she had to choose between taking care of what she needed and fitting in.
Her experience at the retreat was different:
“Here — no need to choose. I COULD BE ME. I felt safe. I did me!! Karen made it possible, comfortable, like my needs were an everyday occurrence.”
That is exactly what I want.
Not eight or twenty or thirty women having the exact same experience.
Women being given choices.
Women listening to their own bodies.
Women discovering what feels supportive for them.
At my retreats, there isn't a prize for doing something exactly like the woman beside you.
You are welcome to participate in a way that honors where you are that day.
And that was just walking through the door.
As Paula put it:
“And that’s just getting in the front door.”
Because then we began the actual work.
Somatic practices.
Nervous system education.
Breathwork.
Meditation.
Reflection.
Connection.
Opportunities to explore what happens when you give your body, your breath, and yourself some room.
Paula described what stayed with her afterward:
“I’m still feeling energized and empowered.”
But perhaps my favorite part of everything she wrote was what came next.
“It cracked the door.”
Paula said:
“No, it’s not a quick fix, but it cracked the door, which is giving me the next step to continue my journey.”
It cracked the door.
I use those words often in my 1:1 and group work because I think they're an important way to understand this kind of work.
I don't believe one retreat is supposed to fix your life.
I don't believe one breathwork session erases everything you've experienced.
And I don't believe healing needs to be measured by some enormous breakthrough.
Sometimes something much quieter happens.
You notice something you couldn't see before.
You experience your body differently.
You hear yourself say something out loud that you've only thought.
You discover a boundary.
You recognize a pattern.
You feel your own strength.
You experience what it feels like to choose yourself.
The door cracks open.
And now there's somewhere to go.
A next step.
Another choice.
Another possibility.
From “I don’t know anyone” to “Come say hi.”
There's one more part of Paula's comment that I absolutely love.
She has already registered for my next one-day retreat, Rooted & Rising.
The woman who walked into her first retreat without knowing anyone ended her comment by speaking directly to the woman who might be considering doing the same:
“If you decide to go to this class, stop and say hi cause I’ll be there. I’ve already signed up.”
And maybe that's one of my favorite things about gathering women together.
Someone walks through the door not knowing anyone.
And the next time, she's the woman saying:
Come say hi. I'll be there.
Rooted & Rising | September 19, 2026
If you've been thinking about attending Rooted & Rising but you're hesitating because you'd be coming alone, you will not be the only woman who has felt that way.
You don't need to bring a friend.
You don't need to know what you're doing.
And you certainly don't need to arrive without nerves.
You can simply take the next step.
Maybe your door cracks open, too.
Rooted & Rising
A One-Day Women's Retreat
September 19, 2026
Olympia, Washington
More info here.